


Shattered

by Archangelss



Category: XCOM (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Action stuff - like going on a mission, Comedy - yea a little, Dark/Horror stuff i guess, F/M, Gen, Multi, Other, Romance stuff - like beeing in love and everything thaat goes with it, Some boring stuff - like everyday life in the base, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 04:11:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archangelss/pseuds/Archangelss
Summary: The story follows a young X-Com soldier, Xavier Mortis, throughout the events since the first invasion on Earth in X-COM EU/EW and X-COM 2 series, and everything in between. Although maybe from a different perspective.It’s my 1st try at 1st person narration so… I know I’ll make a lot of mistakes and don’t know how long it’ll be.Please give me feedback on the story, style and what do you think if you want to.





	Shattered

**"Two possibilities exist:**

**Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not**

**Both are equally terrifying."**

**\- Arthur C. Clarke.**

 

**Chapter 1: Sum of all losses.**

 

Operation Devil's Moon

 

The squad was ready. Or at least, that is what we all believed. The briefing was short. At 0900 several unidentified objects crash landed on the streets of Germany. People panicked and fled. What was for the best. It's easier when no civilians are around. Anyway, at 2100 chopper with military units went MIA, after reporting that whatever was down there, opened fire upon them. German police forces closed the area, and that is all we had to work with.

Big-Sky said, that we still had some time before touch-down. I was nervous, this was our first mission in the delta squad...

There was four of us. Three tough guys, and one lady, which was able to freeze you just by looking at you. I remember one guy, who tried something funny at the barracks, during the exercises. The next thing he knew, was that people in the hospital wing weren't particularly happy about carrying over one hundred kilograms man from one bed to another. By the way, she was our team leader – sergeant, to be exact.

Her name was Talia, she came from Japan, or somewhere there, don't really care. We are all now from Earth. It is true, that the common enemy brings everyone together better, than even the nobles cause. But I digress. She was tall girl, fit and strong, with this look in the eye that was just screaming: "Get yourself in the line, or get lost." By the way, her eyes were blue, just like the sky in the morning, just a second before Sun would paint it red and orange. She had short, black hairs, like soldier should. She was checking her equipment, loading ammo to the spare magazines, both with seriousness and skill. The bullets were just going one by one, and weren't even close to slip from her iron grasp. I have heard, that she was some sort of Special Forces.

The guys on my left were chatting among themselves in their language. They both came from one country, Russia, if i saw the flag on their back correctly. The whole idea with flags was strange to me. It divided people, instead of uniting them. They were looking for their countrymen, instead of socializing with everyone, but i guess it had something to do with politics. In a way, the country which soldiers were to be the best among X-COM, could later use it... For something on the international stage. Well... At least I was on good terms with them.

Anyway, they were brothers, Aleksiej, and Nicolai. Aleksiej was bigger one, he looked almost like a bear, with his big and wide arms, excessive amount of hairs that could be mistaken for brown fur and voice that was loud and clear. His brother was bigger than me, but smaller than Aleksiej. He used to be a runner, or swimmer? Anyway, he was more toned about his muscles, and strength, with lesser amount of yellow hair over him, and with this glint in the eye... I have no idea how, but he always seemed to have some stash of alcohol hidden in the entirety of base. And on the top of that, only he knew where the hidden cases were, not even his brother knew.

And that left only me to describe. Well... I'm around average height and weight, with some muscles on me, but running with heavy machine gun is out of question. I have short black hair and green eyes, with no special marks or scars or anything in this regard. Some people say i look nice, but so do others. Taking example from Talia I started checking my equipment too, but instead of taking another mag with me I decided to take first aid kit. Aleksiej and Nicolai had grenades on themselves. There should be someone who could at least patch you up until medical team arrives yes? I was always interested in science and healing, and besides, it's good to know how to treat wounds. The guys were still occupied with their talk, so i decided to start a little chat with Talia.

\- So... Any chances that you could teach me how to do it like you? - I pointed my chin at her magazines, which were, by the moment I started talking, almost completely full. Fast I realized that I’m talking to my superior, so I added quickly: - Ma'am?

She stopped what she was doing, and looked me over, like a fish on a market. I felt the chill on my back, but kept smiling. She grimaced in disgust.

\- If you need to ask this, what are you doing here? It's no place for babies. Get back to the training unit. - She was almost like a machine. No emotion could be felt in her voice, nor could it have been seen on her face. Her expression was dead serious.

\- I am not a baby! I can load gun myself! - I was too emotional, there was anger in my voice and I immediately directed my gaze to the metal floor of the Big-Sky. I felt the shame wash over me like a tide. - Ma'am. - It was a while before i could dig any other words. But i saw something strange, her hands... She was moving them in an odd way...  - I'm sorry... Ma'am... It's just that... I saw how you use your thumb to pick the bullet and push it down the magazine with one motion. And i thought that it can be useful to know... And I'm sorry for my lack of respect... Ma'am. I am still new to this soldier stuff...

\- You did... - She paused with her words and movement, but wasn't watching me. Her gaze was focused on the window behind her. I don't think she even noticed I was not using her rank, or this formality of Ma'am. Perhaps it didn't matter for her... After minute or so, she returned to me. - Not everyone is able to see it, and definitely less think about it in this way. They all assume, that they will have spare mag always ready. You are quite perceptive. I like it.

\- You do? Ma'am?

\- Yes. Be ready tomorrow. I'll come for you. - She returned to her job, finishing both her mags in just a few seconds, while I was staring at her, not believing in what I heard.

\- Yes... Yes, of course! I'll be ready! - I've said it with such happiness in my voice, but i could not contain it within me. - Ma'am!  
\- Good, it would be wise not to disappoint me.

Something in her voice told me, that she was dead serious. Well... I guess tomorrow will be interesting. It reminded me about this one time, when I was in the gym, doing my routine exercises, like jogging and stretching, when she came with this other guy. She was like pulling him by his ear to the machines, tore his jumper and ordered him to do workout. And by tore I mean tore it apart, piece by piece, like nobody from like 40 people was watching, and like he does not exceeded her military rank. After session he was lying on the floor, and she said something about keeping his word, or something like that. I do believe it was all due to a lost bet by him. Anyway, before I could say any more, our pilot opened his channel.

\- This is Big-Sky, we've reach the AO. We have the visual on the crashed chopper, its cold dead sir. - The pilot started talking and everyone went silent. It seems we have arrived, and the mission is going to start.

\- Roger that Big-Sky, touchdown, and be ready to take off. Squad, get moving - Central officer Bradford had calm voice, like a true officer. You couldn't say if he was angry, sad, or surprised. For the moment, he ordered us to move. With a corner of my eye I saw Aleksiej and Nicolai throwing money inside our bet box with a little note in their strange alphabet. We had bet box in the vehicle, so we could bet on everything that was connected to the mission. Who will miss the most, who will hit the most, who will save the most ammo, and so on, and so on. It was a way to take your mind away from thinking about: “What can go wrong” or “What if..?” Anyway I did not bring any money with me, so I could not take part in it. We have waited for the aircraft to land, before we took our gear and went outside. I do believe that I saw Talia putting some coin and rolled piece of paper inside the box. From where on Earth she had this on her? And when she was able to write anything down there? Anyway, when we took our first steps on German land we froze. The view was... Frightening.

There was a big square in front of us, with a statue of a lady justice in the middle of it. On left and right tenement houses were piled out, with no living being in sight. There were two police cars, with lights turned on. Further, at the end of the road there was some sort of an old factory building. Fires from impact of this strange things were still burning... We went forward, with the green light from the Central. I felt... Strange. I was scared, but at the same time i was excited. It was my first real mission, and although everything looked like some sort of cataclysm was here just a while ago, i was ready for action... Or so i thought.

\- Movement, two o clock. - Aleksiej whispered to his communicator, pointing his weapon towards the overturned police car. Central ordered Talia to check it out. I was her backup, so i was looking around, checking for any possible hostiles.

\- Holy hell... - The voice of Talia was... Surprised, shocked. She has seen pretty much everything already. Bandits, terrorists, maniacs, cultists... And yet, there was something that still could surprise her. I will need to remember it for later, to tell it back in base.

\- What do you see Delta four? Report! - Bradford was calm, yet everyone could imagine the demand in his voice.

\- Looks like one of the recon team sir... It looks like... Something...

\- Hilfe... - The voice that you expect in horror night stories, or from a victim of collapse of the building broke into our communicators. It was disturbing.

\- Is this one of your unit Delta four?

\- Negative sir... That's someone’s else…

\- Hilfe... - Again, that voice... Yet something seemed odd to me... Like it was not one voice, yet I didn’t hear anyone else. It was more like... Like echo in the mountains. It was just tiny seconds behind the original voice. Probably I was just taken by surprise and that's all. Yet still, something was scratching at back of my head, like a lonely thought, that tried to convince me to get the hell out of here. That something was seriously wrong...

\- Doctor Vahlen, what he is saying?

\- He is saying... Help me. That transmission is coming from somewhere near the squad current position. Based on its strength, probably from inside a structure. - Doctor Vahlen was our chief scientist. Egghead, as some soldiers used to say. She was from Germany, had this very hard accent, and yet, she was such a bright minded... If there were people with a spark of a genius, than she was a freaking Lighthouse. I liked talking with her, maybe because I could understand what she was saying without using dictionary. Anyway, Central gave us new orders.

\- Delta! Advance and infiltrate that building. And remember. STAY. IN. COVER.

Without second of hesitation, we moved forward. This was our job, it was our duty, and not even once a thought of running was in our minds. We were soldiers, we were meant to be here, and we were prepared for whatever was here. I took my liberty to take a look on the sight that shake Talia. I was going to take cover behind that car one way or another, so it was really not that bad. But I could spare myself the view. The man that was now lying dead next to the car had on himself a lot of wounds. His bulletproof vest did little to save him from the fire. It looked like someone treated him with napalm. But in a way that suggested heavy concentration and low spread... I could see his blackened bones and charred side. On top of an overturned car there was so much blood... I've felt my stomach trying to leave through my throat.

\- Central, I’ve got a lot of blood here... - From my thoughts and idea of moving to investigate the body further, voice of Aleksiej took me away. Again i checked the area for any hostile targets, or signs of civilian activity.

\- Roger. See where it's coming from.

\- Central, i think i have just found another of the recon team. Or... What's left from him. But it doesn't make sense. He looks like he was dead for over a week.

\- Even more perplexing is the cause of death. It appears that he was eviscerated when something burst out of him from inside. - Doctor Vahlen could see everything via cameras on our shoulders that transmitted all that we could see back to base via Big-Sky transmitter. Anyway, my imagination gave me more ideas on the look of this unfortunate soul, than I could ask for so... I just went straight ahead, dashing to another police car. On the side I saw how Nicolaj approached this strange object that officials pictured to be a broken satellite. IT looked more like rectangular egg on four legs, made from metal, with a strange green glow coming out of it... I didn't want to get any closer than at a rock throw distance...

\- All right Delta squad, you're almost to the building, keep moving. Delta one, there is a window in front of you, take a look, than if area is clear, move inside. Delta two, that door is our way inside, take it down. Delta three and four, move behind and provide cover if needed.

We obeyed and moved forward without hesitation. Inside the building were crates and boxes, full of some stuff. It was probably warehouse of some sort, with barrels and heavy lifting gear like this forklift. It was strangely cold inside, and the moment I entered I felt like... I was watched. But not by the eyes of anyone of my team, no... It was something... Different, more like... Like being underwater and feeling, that water is moving, spreading sideways, and making way for something... But when I looked around, I’ve seen nothing. Only contours of containers. In front of us, just beneath the single working light in the entire warehouse, there was a person. He was talking now, the same word that he spoke to us earlier. To help him. Yet his voice... Was strange, like... I got the impression that he tried to fight it, to stay silent, or say something else. Central and Doctor were trying to communicate with poor guy, but he was in no way responding to them. He had the same uniform that we saw on the remains of the recon team. He also had a shotgun, loosely held it with his hand, and in other one, there was a grenade. There will be a lot of talk about it, when we will go back to base. Nikolai stood right next to me, and I was taking aim at the guy, so he couldn't try anything funny. Aleksiej was told to disarm him. He moved, slowly, aiming. I held my breath, stabilizing my weapon, and waiting. The tension rose, as Talia was checking the surroundings for movement, looking around. Nikolai was more focused on his brother, but it was understandable. Everyone on his place would do the same. I just pointed him in the other direction, so he could be both useful and not get rebuked by Central, after returning. He nodded and showed me his back. Aleksiej was halfway there, but... He slowed down, started looking at the shadowed figure. He stood directly in front of him, blocking my shot and view.

\- My God... - He said with a disgust in his voice, and then, he started to lean to the side, looking behind this man, still blocking my shot.

-Delta one, you're blocking...

I never got the chance to say it... In that moment, the shot came from a shotgun, piercing Aleksiejs chest, muting him... Forever. There was no chance to save him. From this range. And even if he somehow managed to survive, the follow-up nailed the last coffin nails. This insane guy pulled the pin of the grenade, and just... Stood there, until explosion took him with Aleksiej. I didn't have time to process what i saw, because with his fall, Delta one moved the light bulb, showing some strange creature. It looked like the first idea of a Martian. Little creature, with big head and eyes, and with very small body covered in grey skin... Nikolai was faster than I and he peeked through his cover, opening his mouth to say something, but all I heard was this strange hissing sound, when second man from our team dropped dead just beneath my feet, with big hole right through the middle of his skull. The same strange creature that I saw just a moment ago, was now flanking my position. It looked like a strange child, maybe malnourished, but he was holding some strange thing on his arm, and was pointing it at me. I did not wish to find out what was it supposed to do. So i ran for a better cover. I was higher, faster, could outrun this little shit... But all my thoughts were put to the side, when I saw, in front of me, another being, identical to the one that killed Nikolai. The order had been given, weapons free. I lined my shoot at this little bastard, and with anger in my mind, pulled the trigger. Thanks God it was on semi-automatic, or I could have just spent the entire mag on this... Thing. Bullets went like hot knife into butter, tearing skin of this creature, and breaking through its big and yellowish eyes. It gave some sort of a sound and flew backwards a little. I've seen with a corner of my eye, as Talia is running to the barrels and she threw something. Explosion confirmed, that she used her grenade, the one i didn't have. Central was saying something but I didn't listen, I felt something strange, again. The feeling of dread, the inevitability of death, and... I felt the thought that was not my own. It was so simple, yet so complicated... It said... KILL... I saw shadows playing in front of my eyes, there was... Something, i couldn't tell, but before I could move, I saw, like in slow motion, green bolt of... Something, that moved straight into Talias turning chest. Impact of the shot sent her into barrels. I saw only her legs, when the creature started turning its gaze towards me. Central gave me position, and I did not hesitate. I just ran, and started shooting before even seeing my target. But, in the end, this little bastards went down, and his insides were pouring now to the floor, but i did not wait for him to fall. He was dead either way...

Talia, when I got to her, was still on her back, her body seemed to be limp, and her gaze rapidly fainting. I did not ask for permission, although she was formally a leader of the squad. I took my first aid kit and started working. She was mumbling something, but i couldn't hear her. Her vest has been reduced to smoking shreds, decorated by three little holes. Her abdomen got shot, and thank the inventor for making this bulletproof vest easy to take off. I didn't even have to move her, just cut through the belts on her sides and push front piece out of the way. It was a pure coincidence that it landed on her face, making it impossible for her to see what I was doing. The sight before me made me lose my breath and stare for a few precious seconds on her wounds. She got three holes beneath her chest, and they were ugly. It looked like someone poured on her body melted iron, or lead through a perfectly shaped cylinder. Flesh around her wounds was black, burnt, there was no value on the scale of burns to match it to. I did all I could, just wrapping up her wounds with bandages. Hell, no one is thinking that some extra-terrestrial shit may hit you with some flaming weapons...

\- Three... - Talia spoke when i finished and attempted to move her. - Comms... - I checked my ear. In chaos i must have lost my ear-communicator. Bradford probably is going crazy with it, but for the moment? It was not important. - Delta... Three...

\- Yes ma'am? - When i removed vest from her face i saw a grimace of pain and suffering.

\- You... Central... -While she was trying to say something i took her under her knees and back, placing her head on my arm. Only when i started walking she spoke again. - What... With others?

\- I'm sorry ma'am... Private Aleksiej and Nicolai have been K.I.A. - It was strange, how easy it was to say. I knew this guys for like one and a half of a year now, and we were practically best pals in the barracks. Probably the shock of a fight, the suddenness of the entire event blocked my emotions and forced me to focus on something more basic. Preserve life, or help the living.

\- The sky... Don't... Show me the sky... - We got out of the building. I tried to be extra careful, but the broken road was not helping. I could make the shape of the Big-Sky, and the pilot waving at us. He run in the other direction, probably to take his seat. - The sky... Don't show... - Her weak arm touched my shoulder. She tried to scratch it, or hold to it to turn herself around, but the pain of movement was too much, and she moaned in pain. - I... Don't...  - Why she didn't want to see the sky? Was it because of those things? Because they came from the sky? Or maybe there was another reason? Very slowly and gently i moved my hand to her arm. It was just an impulse, one i did not control. Yet i guess it had to be done, because I felt her muscles loosening, her breath calming, and she... Smiled. Despite the pain, and fact that we entered our ride home, she was still smiling.- Delta... Three...

\- Yes Ma'am? - I asked, while placing her on the seats and securing with belts. Just then i realized how tense my muscles were. Even sudden start of aircraft wasn't enough to push me off balance, or ease my body tension.

\- You... Are... Shit... - She insulted me, yet I could not fight the feeling of pride, that washed over me. - The most... Shit, i have... Seen. -Her words were interrupted by some bloody coughing, and i kneeled next to her, while she continued to mock me. - In my unit... There is no... Place for... This much of... A shitty... Soldier... - Okay, that one hurt. I just got her sorry ass out of this building and probably thanks to me she was still breathing, but instead of gratitude, i get this? - Just... Why? Why you... You... The sky... You... I never... Leave debts... Behind... - She fell unconscious. She was still alive, for the moment, but there was no contact with her.

\- Central? - I asked at the coms, which I took out of her ear. She needed to rest, and she could do it without someone shouting to her for the whole journey.

\- Delta Three? What the hell were you doing? Your camera went off after you shoot that hostile! We had no visual on you, and we thought the whole squad went down! What the hell were you thinking soldier? - Bradford was not happy about the outcome of the mission, and probably because I lost part of my gear. Plus, because that creature I shoot, probably broke my camera, when I did not look. Maybe it fired on me, while falling to the ground?

\- Sir! - I was speaking silently, because of Talia. - We were engaged by hostile forces. The former member of recon squad opened fire on private Aleksiej. Unidentified creatures assaulted us, taking private Nikolai down. We managed to take all of them, but Sergeant Talia suffered serious injuries and requires immediate medical assistance. Please, inform medical staff, sir!

\- Roger that private. I will be expecting full report on this mission. Central out.

I sighed heavily and fell to the ground. It was hard day and night, and now I felt like all that was held back was coming back, with doubled force. First it was punch to the guts, just like being kicked with horse's hoof in the head. It caused me to get dizzy, so it was good that i have been already sitting. Later memories came. I saw Aleksiej, and Nikolai, when we were training, making pranks to others and each other alike. Drinking, singing, picking up on ladies in the base... But there was a simple change in all memories. I saw Nikolai with a small hole in his head, alongside with his eyes turned white. His brother, Aleksiej, has been changed too... There was something coming out his chest, and on his face was a continuous picture of fear. I wanted to block those pictures, those memories, but i couldn't, there was always more, and more... Talias Voice took me away from those images, when she, with closed eyes, started talking.

=>I'm not... Gonna make it... Soldier... - I came closer to her, so she could use less of her strength to talk. I would hush her, but she would not listen... - I can't feel my legs.

=> Do you want to smell mine, Ma'am? - I asked her and watched as she laughed. It was such a rarity, to see her show emotions, or at least those positive, that I could not help the smile that creped on my mouth.

=> You are... Not helping... - She said slowly, coughing and moving her arm a little, as if she was trying to chase away a fly. - But it... doesn't matter... Anymore. I'll be... Dead... Before we... Reach HQ...

=> Was this your bet about? Will you die?

=> No... It was... About... What it will take... For you... To panic... - She opened her eye and looked at me. She shed a single tear that slowly moved on her cheek, where it stayed. - One of... Few that... I am happy... To lose...

=> Heh... And you have putted your money on?

=> The sight of dead companion. - She groaned and moved a little, showing that she still had here nerves, some at least. I felt bad for not being able to do anything more, but I did not had anything that I could use and the knowledge to help her, left alone equipment. - Could... Could you…

=> Yes Ma'am? - I felt her hesitation, her... indecision. She was afraid, or at least that's what I thought so. Strange, I couldn't explain it, but I just... Knew, how she felt...

=> Could... You... - I saw her struggle, and the amount of energy she was mustering to just say a few words, yet I couldn't silence her. She wouldn't let me do it. No matter how hard I tried, and what I have said, she was still trying. - Could... Just... Hold my hand?

It was so strange, that surprise on my face must have been in epic size, because she started silently laughing again. Tears started to rapidly run down from her eyes, and she placed one of her hands on her chest. She definitely took me by surprise and I was out of words. I was just staring at her with big eyes, and after long, long while I came to my senses...

=> What have you done with my sergeant? With lady so cold, that she could freeze a volcano with just a single stare – I laughed, trying to hide my bewilderment, while she just kept smiling. Just like she didn't just made a turn for 180 degrees.

=> I am... Human... Soldier... Not... A machine... Made to do... What you... Order it to... I have a... Feelings to... That is... What differs... Us from... Machines... From them... - She moved her head a little, pointing towards exit of the vehicle. - Remember it... Soldier. Emotions are... What differ us... From monsters. -She moved her head back, placing her gaze towards the ceiling. She took a deep breath before talking more, but I dared not to stop her. In a way I admired her, for her strength, for her dedication to do a thing, regardless of her condition. - I didn't want to... Look into sky... Because... Because I used... I used to do so... With offerings... With prayer... With hope... And now... Now I see... Only suffering... Only... The pain... And it's... It's... So hard... To hold... On... I have... I have failed...

=> Talia... - I dared to speak to her by name. Yet I did not see anger in her eyes that moved to my face. I saw... gratitude, kindness, hope... And there was more, there was regret, there was sadness and pain. I took her hand, as she asked me to, and I covered it inside mine. I moved a little bit closer to her and with one single motion, placed my second hand on her shoulder, and her hand on my hearth, beneath the vest. She was cold, so very cold... - It's all right. I understand. You did not fail anyone. You kept cool, did what you could. There is nothing wrong with sadness, just... Let it go, do not hold on to it. It needs to be released. Hold on to life... Just... Hold on... - My throat started to swell, and I could not bear any more words. She looked at me with smile on her face, and peace in her eyes.

=> I will... See... You later...

Big-Sky landed gently on the landing pad. There was a lot of people rushing to the back hatch, as soon as it started lowering. Central officer Bradford, doctor Vahlen, and doctor Shen were all there. All but Commander. But nobody could be upset about it, running this base and commanding forces can be quite the task. Team consisting of 2 soldiers, 2 doctors and a nurse rushed past everyone. They quickly grabbed Sergeant from her position. She looked like she was deep asleep. Central looked... Concerned, but his nerves made of steel and fully controlled facial expression stayed imperturbably cold. He walked inside and looked at me, and i dared not to look back. I was sitting on the ground, assault rifle on its place, secured and unloaded.

\- Delta three, report! - He demanded, yet his voice was not angry, or disappointed, or even sad. His voice was more like a father who is going to hear his son speaking about something, that father already knows he did. I got up, gave a salute, but still... I was avoiding his sight, darting to sweet nothingness of his behind...

\- Delta three, private Xavier Mortis, reporting in... - My throat got dry in an instant, paradoxically, it swelled and made my eyes wet. - Re-reporting i-in-n... - I felt such shame, i was there... I should have done more... - I... I-I... I! - Bradford had laid his hands on my arms and he shook me.

\- Soldier, look at me. - I did not want to. - Look at me. - I was afraid of what I could see in his eyes. - Soldier, look at me. - There was no excuse for me, I failed, I had no right to cling to life so badly, that the price must have been paid by the others. - Soldier. Look at me. -His voice was different now. Not such commanding I don’t know when, but I eventually looked at him, and saw, the he was still calm. - Report.

\- Private Xavier Mortis, reporting in... Mission accomplished. Squad status, one man up... 3 KIA.


End file.
